Anger is natural. It is part of being human. It is a flow. But when you stop that flow and dam it up, you basically damn yourself into suffering. Then, anger becomes hate – a grudge. What was once a flow is now a stagnancy full of dirty and poisonous things. And your soul will die.
When we don’t forgive, we suffer. Not forgiving is like swallowing a hot coal in the hopes of burning someone else.
When we don’t forgive, who is the one who suffers?
Who feels the burden in one’s heart?
Who is the one who is miserable?
Who loses sleep and becomes tense?
Who is put into all this mental anguish?
Isn’t it the one who does not forgive?
When we forgive, we do not set free the person we forgive, but ourselves.
So what can we do to restore the flow? Forgive.
After forgiving others, what may be more difficult is forgiving ourselves.
Once you realized how you’ve hurt others and made mistakes in the past, this may motivate you to make things up with them, but out of feelings of guilt and remorse.
Just like anger, the momentary feeling of guilt is part of the flow that helps you realize that you have done something that have hurt others, but you have to let it flow. Don’t dam it up. Guilt when retained becomes an unhealthy self-condemnation.
You can only give of yourself to people you love and care for if you live in the present and keep that state of flow, not stuck with feelings of self-condemnation or hate.
Accept that you made and can make mistakes, just like everyone else. Accept your imperfection and love yourself as you are.
So throw the self-condemnation out. Learn from the guilt, forgive yourself, and then move on.
Your natural state is to flow.
Feel it. Hate and self-condemnation are blockages to the flow of things. It is not your nature. Your nature is to live in the present moment and embrace things as they come, not get stuck in the past.
Sure, we learn from the past and act accordingly, but it’s different if you have a burden on your heart because of hate or self-condemnation.
Don’t dam things up and damn yourself. Learn to let go. Learn to flow. Become the river, the current.
Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Forgive.